Give Me The Damned Camera, Tomoyo!
by Kei Masaki
Summary: What's on that tape that Eriol doesn't want the world to see? Rated PG-13 for mild language, a whiff of lime, and an unconventional relationship.


Give Me The Damned Camera, Tomoyo!  
  
A Card Captor Sakura fic by Kei Masaki (yukikaze@antisocial.com)  
  
Card Captor Sakura is the property of CLAMP, among others. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with, and   
  
promise to put them back intact when finished ^-^.  
  
Rated PG-13 for mild cursing, a whiff of lime, and an unconventional.... pairing. If that's the right word for it.  
  
Oh, yes, some OOC actions as well.  
  
****  
  
"Dammit, Tomoyo, come back here with the camera!"  
  
"Oh ho ho ho ho!"  
  
The sound of Eriol shouting angrily (Eriol? Shouting? Why would he do that when he could use softer words like a scalpel...) was the thing that caught Kaho's attention. The second was the sound of Tomoyo's laughter. Not her normal happy laugh, which was like the tinkling of silver. No, this sounded just.... evil.  
  
CRASH! "Argh! Nakuru, whose side are you ON?!"  
  
"Relax, Eriol-sama! Say, what's on the tape anyway?"  
  
"Do you want to see, Nakuru-san?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
Sighing, Kaho pushed her papers to one side and stuck her head out of the study. "Eriol? Tomoyo-chan? What is going on....?"  
  
She jerked her head back into the study, just in time to avoid having it taken off by an airborne Nakuru. The guardian's grin looked like Tomoyo's laugh had sounded, and that was enough to give Kaho chills.  
  
Close on Nakuru's heels was Tomoyo, trusty camcorder in hand. She, too, looked like the proverbial cat with a canary in its belly. Despite her almost manic grin, Kaho was still struck by her beauty. At 10, she had already been beautiful; at 17, she was well nigh magnificent.   
  
Of course, the effect was slightly ruined by that insane grin and the ragged-looking T-shirt and sweats she wore....  
  
"Damn it to hell, Daidouji, get your cute little ass back here - " And here was the last member of the impromptu parade.  
  
If Tomoyo was looking undignified, Eriol looked even worse. Or better? Kaho couldn't quite make up her mind; the sight of him in naught but a towel hastily knotted about his waist was distracting. Recovering her aplomb, she stepped into his path. He skidded to a stop (never easy in bare feet on a carpeted floor) too late, bowling her over and landing on top of her.  
  
Kaho blinked up at Eriol for a moment, noting the slight squint of his non-bespectacled eyes. She felt the heat rising to her face; hardly the first time he'd been atop her like this, and it wouldn't be the last...  
  
"Ahem. If you're going to lay there all day, I suggest you make room for me." Tomoyo's playful voice, of course. Speaking clear as crystal: are you two going to stand up, or shall we just have a bloody threesome on the floor?  
  
It was Eriol's turn to blush, and he slowly levered himself off of Kaho. The sunset-tressed teacher waited until he was back on his feet before standing up. She fixed her housemates with a mild glare. "I'm sorry, I must have woken up in the wrong house today. You see, I thought I was sharing a house with the two people who are my lovers - "  
  
"What about Suppi-chan and me?!"  
  
"You don't count."  
  
Nakuru's expression turned sulky.  
  
" - and NOT two third-grade fugitives! Now," turning to Eriol, "what is ON that camera that you're so.... vocal about getting back?"  
  
"Nothing. Forget it." Eriol's voice brooked no conversation, but his face was twitching uncontrollably. So much for the vaunted Hiiragizawa emotional control.  
  
"Mm.... hmm." Kaho glanced towards Tomoyo. "Tomoyo-chan....?"  
  
"Wanna see?" Tomoyo held the camera up and wiggled it invitingly. Eriol lunged for it, and would have snagged it if not for:  
  
(1) Tomoyo stepping back and tossing the camera to Kaho, who stumbled but caught it; and   
  
(2) Nakuru snatching the towel loose as he overreached, falling flat on his face.  
  
"What the heck is going o - " Spinel floated in just in time to see Kaho, Tomoyo, and Nakuru staring down at a naked Eriol. The guardian beast blinked for a moment, then snorted. "THIS is what I get up early for?" He winged his way back the other direction.  
  
Eriol rolled over and sat up, in the same motion. He turned a glare up towards Nakuru (well, he thought it was Nakuru; his vision was kind of fuzzy). "Was that really necessary?"  
  
"You know, Eriol, half the girls in our grade would pay good money to see this...." Tomoyo reached down to him; after a moment, he accepted her hand and got to his feet again. He spun and snatched the towel from Nakuru, who strode off with a smug smirk.  
  
"Neither of you answered my question. The tape?"  
  
Eriol looked about to argue, but sighed. "Fine. Let's get this over with."  
  
The passage of ten minutes found them in the living room. Eriol had exchanged the towel for jeans and a half-buttoned shirt, and slouched in a very Syaoran-like pose on the couch. Tomoyo was almost bouncing with glee as she sat on the couch. Kaho watched the two of them carefully as she popped the tape into the player. After hitting play, she plopped onto the couch between them, as much to play buffer as to soak up the affections of both.  
  
The blue screen was replaced by towel-clad Eriol, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. A small radio was propped up in the windowsill, and was turned on, playing a local American/British pop station. The camera remained steady, testament to Tomoyo's long experience in handling it.  
  
The first song ended, and was replaced by a different one. Before the lyrics even began, Kaho sat up straight, incredulity on her face. "I HATE that song!" she exclaimed, more in amazement than contempt.  
  
Apparently the onscreen Eriol didn't agree, for he was lip-synching along with the first verse, to Kaho's growing bemusement. Tomoyo was writhing in what looked like agony from suppressed laughter.  
  
And then, when Kaho thought it couldn't get any odder, Eriol grabbed a hairbrush and started SINGING with the chorus -   
  
  
  
"LOVE me, LOVE me, SAY that you love me  
  
FOOL me, FOOL me, GO ON and fool me  
  
LOVE me, LOVE me, PRETEND that you love me  
  
LEAVE me, LEAVE me, just SAY that you NEED me...."  
  
  
  
Kaho's first laugh came out like a half-strangled sob. The second had her doubled over on the couch, clutching her belly. Tomoyo had already progressed to the "rolling around on the floor" stage. Eriol scowled and tried to burrow deeper into the couch. On the screen, his thirty-minute-ago-self was now swaying to the song, doing a mediocre impression of a simpering idol singer.  
  
"....so I CRY, and I BEG, for you to  
  
LOVE me, LOVE me, SAY that you love me  
  
LEAVE me, LEAVE me, just SAY that you NEED me  
  
I can't care 'bout anything b - "  
  
Tomoyo's sudden laughter startled Eriol out of his "idol moment", and he whirled to face the door. "Tomoyo!" he gasped, and began advancing towards the lens. The video immediately cut off, and the blue screen returned to the giant plasma-screen TV.   
  
A few minutes later, Kaho recovered enough to look over at Eriol. The young uber-mage looked more rueful than angry now, and his cheeks were cherry-red.  
  
She smiled and leaned over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. "That was actually quite cute."  
  
"That? That was NOTHING!" Tomoyo was sitting Indian-style on the floor, and her grin grew wider as Eriol blanched. Chuckling softly, she scooted over to him and rested her head against his legs. "Oh relax, Eriol-kun. We only give you grief because we love you. Ne, Kaho-sensei?"  
  
"That's exactly right," agreed Kaho, leaning in to nuzzle his ear. She nipped gently at the lobe, smiling as he exhaled shakily. "Forgive us?"  
  
"N-not if that's your idea of reparation...." They both knew exactly what effect her ministrations had on him, yet he was keeping his voice mostly steady. It could be sweet torture pushing that voice to the breaking point....  
  
"Oh, I'm sure we can be far more persuasive. Ne, Tomoyo-chan?"  
  
"Oh, quite, quite...."  
  
****  
  
"Really, Eriol-kun. Must you grin like an idiot?"   
  
"I can't help it." Eriol walked in a particularly relaxed, loose-limbed gait this morning. The smile on his face was very much that of a canary-snagging feline.  
  
Tomoyo shook her head exaggeratedly, the swirling indigo-gray locks hiding her smile. She was glad that he was happier this morning, and she had no qualms whatsoever about exactly WHAT generated that mood, but she wished he wouldn't look so smug....  
  
"Yo!" Waiting for them outside the school gates were Sakura and Syaoran, and Yamazaki and Chiharu. Tomoyo's smile became less rueful.  
  
"Hey, Hiiragizawa-kun!" Yamazaki's voice was unrestrained and pleasant, as typical as him as the perpetually-loosened school tie. "Y' gonna try out for the school talent show?"  
  
Eriol's smile was wiped away by a querying expression. "What makes you say that, Yamazaki?"  
  
Syaoran smiled. As was de rigeur where Eriol was concerned, it was a malicious one. "We have the perfect song for you...."  
  
Eriol's eyes narrowed in recognition, the full impact hitting him just as the two boys started to sing -   
  
"LOVE me, LOVE me, SAY that you love me...."  
  
It wasn't quite as humiliating as Eriol expected. In all honesty, they were drawing more attention to themselves with their atrocious singing voice. It was amusing to watch Chiharu and Sakura try to shush their boyfriends.  
  
He felt Tomoyo sidle up beside him. "You two said you wouldn't tell," he groused without facing her.  
  
"Yes, we did." Tomyo's voice was soft and sweet. "Nakuru didn't...."  
  
Eriol half-turned to face her, the sight of Yamazaki being pummelled with a school bag now behind him. His face was a mix of chagrin and admiration. "Ohh, that's good. That's bad! - but that's good...." He draped an arm loosely around her shoulders, relaxing as she sank into his half-embrace. "You know, you owe me for this now."   
  
"Oh, I know." She leaned up, brushing her lips against his cheek.   
  
They snuggled together, watching the ruckus in front of the school.  
  
Well.... I must admit to a weakness for TxE fics, but I kind of like Kaho as well, and I feel that Kaho-bashing may be becoming entirely too trendy. As for the implied.... pairing.... many of my friends have remarked that so many of the problems in anime relationships could be solved if the characters could just wrap their heads around the "threesome" concept. Dunno how much truth there is in that, but what the hell? Couldn't complicate matters any MORE.... ^-^  
  
  
  
The song is, obviously, "Lovefool" by The Cardigans. Apologies to anyone who likes the song; I was just searching for a song that would be really embarrassing to get caught singing along with. 


End file.
